For me it was a little difficult, being the first Mother’s Day without my Mom.

My lovely children made me breakfast; bagels, lox, cream cheese, and capers, served up with coffee and orange juice. It was superb. Then I got the greatest gift. It is a pretend news article from Annabella’s school, complete with a portrait of me, pictured below.

In it my girl describes me as: brave, beautiful, gifted, loving, kind, sweet, nice, and honest.
Wow. That’s a lot to live up to.

Then she goes on to write the following:
I love my mom because she encourages me to be the bet I can be. She helps my troubles. She never deceives us into not appropriate things. She gives me a life supply of love and hope. She is as pretty as a rainbow. She gave me my voice and my eyes. She heals my wounds and weariness. She is the twinkle in my eye, she is the star in the sky. She gives me great books and food. She inspires me.

Needless to say, I cried. My cup runneth over. How lucky am I?

This noble boy had a swallow sparrow that eats soap pillows and tomato toes. It goes to a woeful hoedown and it’s horrible with a coach. It was unsuccessful and had to take a vacation. It fell into a hole and began to moan. When it was in motion it was unsure it was whole.

The last part is my favorite. Thanks for brightening my day with your homework.

In the months running up to my Mom passing, we had many talks about what happens when you die. We talked about lots of different beliefs from around the world. Lots of different people believe many different things, I concluded, but nobody knows for sure.

Yes, I am aware that most people feel they know with 100% certainty. That is their prerogative. I do not deny people of faith their faith.

Annabella, being surrounded by some pretty devout Christians at school, has taken great solace from the fact that Grandma Pam believed in God and believed in Heaven.

Redding, on the other hand, has decided reincarnation is the way to go. He asked me, joyously, “When will Grandma Pam be born again? Will she be a baby? A new baby? Could she be your baby and you could raise her this time and we could have a new little baby?”

Please proceed.

Annabella having lunch with her stuffed friends. So cute. She was having a lengthy conversation with them, which is why she looks so surprised to be having her picture taken. She was quite absorbed.

As I’ve mentioned before, Annabella has some issues with her handwriting. Andrew has been working with her, and she’s come a long way in about a month. Fantastic.

Her writing on her spelling tests continues to be a challenge, and it kind of breaks my heart to see her get things wrong on the test because the teacher can’t read what she wrote, though she usually knows how to spell the words.

She’s also been having trouble getting her extra work done for Talent Development, an enrichment program for reading that she’s participated in since first grade.

Yesterday, the stars aligned and suddenly there was clarity. It turns out that Annabella is not totally jazzed about TD because she misses part of her Art class every week. Annabella adores art and would probably rather do nothing but art 24/7. The amount of Art class that she misses is determined by… Her spelling test! When she gets back from TD each week, the rest of the class is already at Art, so she speeds through the spelling test as quickly as possible, in order to get to Art class as fast as she can.

Priorities. And rushing. When did elementary school become such a rush to fit things in?

At least school has not killed her imagination.

Annabella was doing a project this weekend that required photos of her. Here’s one of my favorites, by far.

What a pretty little flower girl.

Can’t believe how big she is now!

So, we watched “Spy Kids” the other night, as a family. There’s a scene in the movie where the little girl yells out, “Holy shiitake mushrooms!” Which I was not a huge fan of. It made quite an impression on me.

The next day, when we were on our way to her dance lesson, Annabella mentioned liking the movie. Then added, “But there’s a bad word in it.”

I said, “They used the word stupid a lot and the brother and sister called each other a lot of nasty names.”

Annabella said, “I know, but meant when the girl said the s-h-i-t word.”

To which I replied, “Goodness, that is certainly not a good word to use, I didn’t hear that in the movie.” But my mind was busy reeling at the fact that my daughter knows, and can correctly spell, an actual bad word. Whoa.

Then? This morning? I asked Annabella if she’d fed her fish yet. Trying to do my part to keep the guppies alive while Andrew is in Amsterdam.

Without a second of hesitation she said, “Yes.”

“Did you have to open the new container I picked up yesterday?” I prompted her, hoping she’d remember.

“No,” again without missing a beat, “I scraped enough out of the old container for one last feeding.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Because I brought the empty container downstairs last night, after you fed them right before bed. So, if you haven’t opened the new container, you haven’t actually fed your fish this morning. And if you are actively lying to me, a better answer would be, ‘I’ll do it now, Mom.’”

“Uh, I’ll do it now, Mom.”

I considered calling in quits, but she asked me to fix it. I found some iron-on mending tape at the fabric store and ironed it on the inside. Twice, to make sure it was good and stuck, then washed it to make sure it would hold.

I then tried to embroider over the mending, to help hide it. I broke 2 sewing needles and begged a thimble from a friend… Only to find it too hard to sew through the mending tape, still. Some time passed and inspiration hit! They have iron-on embroidery at the fabric store, too! So I picked some up and finally, this weekend, completed the project so Annabella could wear her new coat again.

She proudly wore her new coat to school yesterday, but came home with a couple of the vines and flowers loose. I told her I’d just iron them back down this morning and make sure they stick.

Now, I’ve ironed this coat sleeve at least 5 times in this whole process.

Five times. Not a problem.

This morning? THIS morning? I melted the sleeve. A big, ugly purple plastic mess.

I wrecked it. After all that work… On Valentine’s Day.

This day has got to get better. That is all I have to say.

I had a $20 bill leftover from my trip. I told her she could have $10 of it, but she’d have to bring me change. “Be sure to hold onto that, I don’t want you to lose it. Got it?”

“GOT IT!” And with that, she was off.

Annabella is a marketers dream. If she’s seen the commercial, she needs it. Ergo, no broadcast or cable television in our home. She sees signs at school for the school store and MUST have money for it. Only to buy dopey little trinkets that break before the day is over. Not my idea of a sound investment.

She walked out of the building after school with the biggest grin on her face. She said, “Mom, I only spent $9! And I’ve go a receipt for you in my backpack.” She was carrying a large poster with a kitten on it.

I asked, “Did you get anything besides the poster?”

“Well, my friend (her best friend, actually) lost her money. But I was able to buy her a poster and me a poster and still spend less than the $10 you said I could. Your change is in the backpack, it’s $11 exactly.”

What a beautiful heart my girl has.

But I promise you, that you are going to get the hang of it. You’ll figure out a way to either make your writing meet expectations or to squeak through like your mom. Dad is helping you with this because I understand all too well the desire to make your letters look like everyone else’s and no matter how hard you practice, that is just not what comes out the end of your pencil. But nobody really worked with me, so maybe dad can help. It’s worth a shot, and you deserve it. You deserve to give yourself the chance to grow beyond this trouble spot. It may not be easy, but if you can get past it, you will be rewarded in small ways for the rest of your life.

So many things in life are like this. They look insurmountable. Until you take it one step at a time, or someone shows you the way, or you just have a breakthrough. Just keep plugging away, OK?

You’re so amazing. Everything that comes to you so easily. It just takes my heart and squeezes it, in a good way. Possibly, those things that come easy make the hard stuff look much harder than it really is. Just keep at it. Don’t give up.

One more thing. I want you to know how lucky your brother is to have you. He’s 4 and he’s doing addition, and he figured out reading on his own… He makes everything look so easy. Do you want to know why? Because he has you. You show him things that Dad and I can’t. You are there for him, to challenge him and keep him learning new things. He wants to be just like you. You are a role model and an inspiration that he can totally relate to. And you? Had to figure it all out, with just Dad and I to lend a helping hand. And as much as we love you and want to help you, we are just not, well, kids.

Keep going, kiddo. I know that once you get some of your third grade challenges tamed, you’re going have a blast at school again.

Love you,
Mom